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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends? I can control my salt intake at In-n-out."

"A pessimist, optimist and feminist Optimist: The glass is half full Pessimist: The glass is half empty Feminist: The glass is raped"

"Nobel Peace Prize I would kill for one of those"

"Why was 4 afraid of 5? Because 5 was a Registered Six Offender. Edit: a word."

"A liberal, a conservative and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Afternoon, Mitt! What can I get for you?"""

"Sure, Aphrodite poses naked in a giant clam shell, she's a goddess. But when I do it, I'm ''drunk' and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium'."

"This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin"

"""Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?"" ""I can't jelly my cock up my wife's ass."""

"What's red and orange and looks good on hipsters? Fire."

"Q: Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine? A: She demanded $200000 and a parachute."