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Joke of the Day

"Someone refine this joke if it's needed. Ay girl, I heard you like wearing food. Do you know where I can get jalapeno panties?"

"What's 10 foot long and stinks of piss? Old folk doing the conga."

"A friend of ours is practicing baking apple pies. She brings them over to our house and later asks us how we liked it. I tell her ""You need more practice."""

"What's worse than a girl falling asleep during sex? A girl waking up during sex."

"My therapist picked a cool time to go on vacay I'm making decisions out here like a wild animal"

"Was talking to a friend about taking many baths a day. ""There's no harm in taking baths repeatedly unless you are soap."""

"Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long? Because old Hobbits die hard..."

"People ask how I'm so prepared for Christmas It's easy I had all presents wrapped and hidden in the attic since August, my girlfriend is going to love her new puppy"

"*5 puts on shoes* Me: they're on the wrong feet. 5: but I can't... Me: can't..? 5 I don't have any more feet to put them on. Me: touche"

"What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other? They were MAROONED!"