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Joke of the Day

"You are now breathing manually. Your welcome :) That's one of the best ways to get at someone over the internet."

"That awkward moment when you're not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up."

"What is ET short for? He's only got those little legs."

"Kanye running for president in 2020"

"Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day Teach a man to fish and he will spend hundreds of dollars on equipment he will use 3 times a year"

"Why should you never tell jokes on the ice? The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker."

"i hate when you meet new friends and you don't know how comfortable you can be with them. like will she get offended if i talk about the D"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Because his barista fucking hastes hipsters."

"What to mopeds and fat chicks have in common? They're both fun to ride until one of your friends sees you on one."

"what do you call a sad cranberry? a blueberry =["