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Joke of the Day

"What did the incestual burger say to his son who's leaving for college? Meat again soon. Nice buns by the way (Lettuce keep that between us)."

"What does ISIS call wine snobs? Zinfandels!!!!!!"

"96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in."

"My cellphone is incredibly acidic... It's a pH one"

"What kind of dog can you milk? A titbull."

"So the past, present, and future walk into a bar. It gets really tense."

"Last Night.. I was about to kill a spider. My wife told me to take it out instead. Turns out he's a pretty cool guy, his names Luke and he want's to be a lawyer."

"Crucifixion of Jesus was not an easy task... ... however Romans nailed it."

"Someone asked me if it's true that all the women I've made love to have been depressed I said, ""That depends...do you mean before or after?"""

"Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?"