202424

Joke of the Day

"There once was a mouse called Keith Who did circumcisions for free with his teeth; He didn't do it for pleasure, Excitement or leisure... He did it for the cheese underneath."

"I accidentally mixed up my dads sleeping pills with my Viagra... he says its harder getting to sleep now."

"I tried to upload the superbowl to... Pornhub, but they dont accept rape."

"Michael J Fox called me earlier but of course he had dialed the wrong number."

"Tug boats hate when their mom comes in their room without knocking."

"Tripler's Dating Tips 20/50: hide a tape recorder in your pocket with a laugh track on it and press play after every single thing you say"

"*hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*"

"Still carry my keys one-poking-out-like-a-weapon-style in case I'm attacked by a not very tough rapist with thin skin."

"I think what I despise the most about blind people is knowing they'll get rid of that dog as soon as they start to see."

"Helping a gang of squirrels buy remote control cars against my better judgment."