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Joke of the Day
"What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly? ""Oops! King Kong ring wrong."""
Next Joke
"Have you heard about the homeless assassin? Well... I don't know anything for sure. But I heard he's a roofless killer!"
"To all the people saying I have fat fingers... FYVK OFF"
"[turns to date during movie where bank robbers laugh & toss money around motel room] They won't be laughing when it's time to pick it all up"
"What do men do after orgasm? 1% Do it again 1% Go Smoking 1% Fall Asleep 97% Clear History EDIT: Punctuation"
"I just saw a BMW driver using his indicators correctly on the motorway. Twice. Should I report the vehicle as stolen?"
"What kind of peanuts get warts? Planters."
"What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle? A Wienerschnitzel."
"GHOST: I'm here to warn you to change your ways before it's too late POLTERGEIST: I'ma open your cupboards"
"I own the world only talking dog... but he only talks about outer layers of trees."