202047

Joke of the Day

"When someone says ""everything happens for a reason,"" I stab them and laugh, just so they know I understand."

"What did Sherwock say to Watsun while vacationing in Tokyo? Well done, old Jap."

"Hey, I'm human. If you cut me do I not bleed? If you cut me a slice of pizza do I not eat?"

"I'm the guy who invented the sandal for people with only one leg. It was a flop. Credit to 'flaggon' from sikipedia"

"Girl seeing my torn jeans Where'd you get those?! *remembers trying to pee on a hill & stumbling backwards through thorn bushes* The Gap."

"How are Bungee jumping and visiting a prostitute a like? If the rubber breaks, you're dead."

"A Disney joke not for the kids ""How many thingamabobs does Ariel have?"" 20? ""Twenty-*one*. She got the last one when she wished for legs."""

"What's the difference between plants and black men? Cells are found inside plants."

"I found the secret to getting fresh content on the front page. I turned my laptop off and opened Reddit on my phone. Boom, all blue links on my front page again."

"A girl just broke up with her friend The guy deserved it. He loved her more than anything, but still he treated her really badly. He really was a dick' to her. (addicted to her)"