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Joke of the Day
"Hey, I'm human. If you cut me do I not bleed? If you cut me a slice of pizza do I not eat?"
Next Joke
"Pretty sure the lead actress from 'Precious' has a twin sister who works at every Wendy's I've ever been to"
"Politics is an ""I'm not an asshole"" contest for assholes."
"John Wilkes Booth is one of history's greatest stand-up comedians I heard he really killed at Ford's Theatre."
"Me: If you take them out of their natural habitat they seek revenge by burning your tounge Sis: M: S: That's a pizza roll. You're high"
"What's Donald Trumps's favorite Christmas carol? White Christmas"
"What goes ""Clippity Clop Bang Bang, Clippity Clop Bang Bang""? An Amish drive by shooting"
"It's about damn time we start talking about spontaneous combustion. It doesn't happen in a vaccuum."
"Why doesn't the gastroenterologist have any friends? He's always talking shit."
"Thinking of adopting a child. What color should I get? Keep in mind my walls are eggshell and cinnamon."