202032

Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so jack could lick her candy... But Jack got a shock And a mouth full of cock Cause Jill's real name was Randy"

"Son! You have been adopted -Really! -Yes. Now gather your shit and get out. Your new parents are here to pick you up."

"i once told my girlfriend there was something between me and Taylor swift blank space"

"""And for our next lesson, we'll learn how to roll a blunt, or un cigarrillo marijuana"" - Rosetta Stoned"

"Women are good for 70 things Cooking and 69"

"I watched my neighbor get evicted the other day... ...It was a moving experience."

"Doctor, doctor...I've got a strawberry up my butt! That's ok. We've got some cream for that."

"Reddit More like shmreddit"

"At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, ""Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."""

"Whenever I see a group of girls talking I just barge in and say ""he is such an a$$hole"" and just like that, I'm part of the group."