202032

Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so jack could lick her candy... But Jack got a shock And a mouth full of cock Cause Jill's real name was Randy"

"Why do men like love at first sight? Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth."

"Facebook: ""Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!"" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]"

"A dog will never borrow money from you, and that's why he's man's best friend."

"How much is a metric fuck-ton? A shitload."

"How big is the US-Mexico border wall going to be? It's gonna be YUGE!!!"

"Which bounty hunter specializes in tracking elves? Jingle Fett"

"Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven? They were too GUI."

"I fucking hate Black History month It's the darkest month of the year"

"Why was the tampon flying down the school hallway? He was late for his next period."