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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I see a group of girls talking I just barge in and say ""he is such an a$$hole"" and just like that, I'm part of the group."

"If my calculations are correct, then someone else did them for me."

"I overheard a super skinny girl say that she sometimes forgets to eat. So naturally I licked her face to see if it was contagious"

"One thing won't change for Jared Fogle while in prison He will still be eating 6"" to 12"" daily."

"Why did the policeman stay in bed today? he was undercover *!*"

"My orgies are like the Special Olympics... There's lots of drooling and everyone is a winner."

"What idiot called them swordfish instead of... oh, no, wait, actually that's pretty good."

"Google won't replace librarians. The internet is like giving someone a fire hose when all they asked for was a glass of water."

"Someone at this party is wearing the same shirt as me. It's very awkward. How did this happen. We barely even fit in this shirt."

"What do hippies call there sex life before they get married? Prius"