201869
Joke of the Day
"Oldie but goody... What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken"
Next Joke
"Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says ""I'm going to have to cancel tonight"""
"I can't seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don't need their assistance in the bathroom."
"A Mexican magician... A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of three. He says, ""uno, dos..."" *poof* ...he disappeared without a tres."
"""How'd the session go with your new therapist?"" ""It was a waste of time. He just kept showing me pictures of my parents fighting."""
"No mushrooms, no chives. Bob Marley ordering a pizza."
"My mom laughed at me when I told her I was making a car out of spaghetti... you should have seen her face when I drove pasta!"
"I bought some hard cider yesterday... but I'm still waiting for it to melt."
"Where did George Washington keep his armies? In his sleevies."
"Two fish in a tank One turns to the other and says ""how do you drive this thing?"" Repost from a comment on /r/askreddit"