2018

Joke of the Day

"if you eat your burrito over a tortilla, anything that falls out will simply start building your next burrito"

"How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch? One of his fingers is clean"

"What do a bucket and a woman have in common? Before 1928, neither could vote."

"How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove."

"'Expect the unexpected' Now that would make the unexpected the expected, but since the expected is being expected, then that would mean it wasn't the unexpected, so what the fuck do we expect?"

"My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up"

"There was once a viking who believed in reincarnation. He was hoping that after dying he'd be Bjorn again."

"Why did Bill Clinton sign the NAFTA agreement? [NSFW] He loves a giant sucking sound."

"The worst reaction I ever got telling a joke was in front of a bunch of crickets."

"Two words that would mean the end of Twitter - Miley Bieber."