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Joke of the Day

"Police: ""You were going fast."" Me: ""I was trying to keep up with traffic."" Police: ""There isn't any."" Me: ""That's how far behind I am!"""

"I have an irrational fear of large intricate corporate buildings. You could say I have a complex complex complex."

"I got a new job circumcizing elephants The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous"

"Every day I try to learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice."

"Happy Ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters! This month, lunch is on me."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They aren't falling for that again..."

"Her: I'm going to the gym Me: Bring me back something from the vending machine"

"I just love that fragrance you're wearing, is that Consent?"

"What's Hitler's favourite sausage? Frankfuhrers."

"I still say a wasp's nest chucked through the window would be the ideal way to end any hostage situation. Nobody's hanging around in there."