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Joke of the Day

"me: [performing autopsy] so I've been practicing my ventriloquism assistant: now's not the time corpse: aw come on"

"I'm through making Alzheimer's jokes guys I just don't know why I liked making them anymore"

"Life is like a box of chocolates. They're cheaper the day after Valentine's Day."

"Order of the Phoenix is my favourite Harry Potter book Dead serious."

"How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player? Ask them if they play league."

"TIL that 70% of statistics are made up on the spot. ...like for example this one."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Ground Roasted Cream filled (For the reddit down under, long black/flat white)"

"Two silkworms had a race... I heard they ended in a tie."

"I viewed a house with period features My wife hates it when I call her that"

"Robin Williams has died Thank you for the laughter"