201729

Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A: A Rolling Stone says ""hey you get off of my cloud!"" while a Scotsman says ""Hey McLeod get off of my ewe!"""

"Starbucks, where 11 members of staff frantically do things behind the counter, yet not one of these things appears to resemble a hot drink"

"how terrible do you think Maria von Trapp's life had to be that she included ""doorbells"" on her list of favorite things"

"My grandpa would always tell me ""You're my favorite granddaughter"" I was his only granddaughter."

"What did both Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common as winning presidential candidates? A cool catchphrase."

"Did you hear about the guy that ran the erectile dysfunction support group? He had to disband the group because he couldn't raise enough members."

"Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien."

"If Europe uses euros shouldn't Africa use Afros?"

"How many babies do you need to paint a wall? It depends how strong you throw them"

"What do a pornstar and Godzilla have in common? They've both swallowed boatloads of seamen."