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Joke of the Day

"What do a pornstar and Godzilla have in common? They've both swallowed boatloads of seamen."

"[first date] ""So... you didn't mention that you're trapped in 230 million year old amber."" [my motionless eyes glint within my golden shell]"

"Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf."

"Bacon is like a woman it looks good it smells good it tastes good and it slowly kills men"

"Are your parents retarded? ...because you're one special lady!"

"Who steals from the poor and gives to the rich? Robbin' hood"

"[REQUEST] FAST! I'm trying to impress a girl by text. Send me your funniest jokes about potatoes. Anything having to do with potatoes. NSFW or not anything's fair game."

"Beer commercials tell us we should drink ""responsibly"". So I'm starting a college fund for my kids with all the empty cans."

"What did the mother bullet say to the father bullet? We're having a BB."

"Man has sex with a can of beans. He was porkin' beans."