201619
Joke of the Day
"What do you call a tick on the moon? A lunatic"
Next Joke
"My 3-year-old referred to her granola bar as a, ""NOLA bar"" and now she's wearing Mardi Gras beads and asking me to make jambalaya."
"Once an octopus figures out how to do roundhouse kicks, humans are pretty much done"
"""Dad. Dad. DAD! Please just come home. You promised us you'd stop after Volume 46."" - Creator of NOW! That's What I Call Music's children"
"The proper skirt length is at least 2 inches below your cellulite."
"The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice."
"What type of plant can you use to make phone calls? A telefern"
"What do you call immigrants in Sweden? Swede-ish"
"Going to sleep: It's so cold in here, I'm totally wearing these socks to bed Middle of the night: GET THESE DEVIL FOOT GLOVES OFF ME"
"I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers."