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Joke of the Day

"Gay men make sure you're using protection You know: body armor, pepper spray, concealed carry-hand gun, first-aid kit, maybe a flare gun too."

"What is the best way to break a shield apart? Seth Rollins with a chair"

"What's the difference between askreddit's mods and askreddit's subscribers? Askreddit's subscribers are ok with offensive jokes."

"So, a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch... The bartender asks, ""What the hell is that?"" The pirate responds, ""Arrrrr, it drives me nuts."""

"When I was young I had a fairy God mother. She said I could have one wish, either a long memory or a long penis. I can't remember what I asked for."

"People are often shocked when I tell them I'm single because I scream it at them while sliding open their shower curtain."

"Why do hunters make the best lovers? Because they go deep in the bush shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot."

"What do you call a worthless priest? holy shit."

"What are you people doing? making this crap up."

"Stephen Hawking can actually be pretty funny sometimes... But I don't think he's got what it takes to do stand-up."