201417
Joke of the Day
"A woman's cleavage tells you the amount and type of attention she needs."
Next Joke
"I need a punctuation mark that is halfway between a period and an exclamation point so I can answer texts without sounding bored or insane."
"What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear? Hor-crocs."
"ME: seen the loch ness monster? HER: it's not real M: *unzips pants* wanna bet? H: *rolls eyes* sure M: k i'll pee and then we'll google it"
"When I'm empty-handed my dog doesn't know what the word 'sit' means, but if I have a treat she can perform neurosurgery."
"All dates are 'blind dates.' The biological structure of fruit plants do not allow eye growth, therefore rendering them incapable of sight."
"Killing the earth Arrogant humans, you are not killing the earth. The earth is attempting to kill you."
"A recent study by UN has found dexter to be the no 1 cause for ocean pollution"
"If you're having second thoughts, you're two ahead of most people."
"she wants the D (director's cut)"