7195

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I see a middle-aged guy trying desperately to hang onto his youth, I always think ""I should move this mirror""."

"For a first date date, my girlfriend wasn't impressed when I tried to drive over the frozen lake drunk. But, it was an icebreaker."

"CUTE GIRL: [motioning to my dog] is he yours? ME: no, he's adopted"

"What do you call a very rude bird ? A mockingbird !"

"Help! I've been canned with preserved fruits! I guess you could say I'm in a jam."

"""Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead"" she hexed."

"What is the difference between an art student and a dead baby? The dead baby can feed a family of four."

"My productivity at work has gone down 43% since corporate bought me a swivel chair."

"What is the United States doing to fight pedophiles? Child Obesity."

"Whale dad joke 'Dad, where did I come from?' 'From my penis' 'Oh...thanks.' 'You're whalecum.'"