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Joke of the Day

"Why did the condom fly out of the window? Because it was pissed off."

"Money is a good servant... ... but a bad master."

"A murder A man walks into a crowded bar, pulls out a knife, and murders another man. Then he walked out. * I bet you laughed, this joke is a *killer*"

"What do you call a bad ass phone that doesn't work? Off the hook. (It's stupid but I did make it up)"

"What's the difference between Bluetooth and The Titanic? The Titanic sinks."

"Fancy Dress My mate and I decided to go to a fancy dress but he was adamant that we had to go dressed as Tom Chaplin and Jesse Quin. I wasn't very Keane on the idea."

"Stop editing ya'll pics. What if you go missing? how you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook & chief keef in person."

"Ladies, if you've ever walked by a van with no windows and you're reading this, it's because you're ugly."

"Why was the Moon in a bad mood? It was just going through one of its phases."

"How can you tell that your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes."