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Joke of the Day
"The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion."
Next Joke
"Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk? To make them happy before they die."
"Benedict Cumberbatch announced that he's really well known now To which I say ""No shit, Sherlock."""
"life is like a box of chocolates: it kills dogs"
"DETECTIVE: There are signs of a struggle here [earlier that morning] ME: *trying to get up for work*"
"A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. The bartender says, ""we don't serve robots."" The robot replies, ""oh, but some day you will."""
"Can you at least smile if you're gonna be in the background of my selfie, Doc? (takes off rubber glove) ""You can pull up your pants now."""
"Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother!"
"How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out? Hide their trainers."
"How do you make a Gorilla float? Two scoops of ice cream some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!"