201106

Joke of the Day

"If I had a dime for every time I lost something between the couch cushions... I would probably lose those between the couch cushions too."

"I searched your life up on google... ...it gave me an error 404"

"WOW! You do a dazzling imitation of a blithering idiot! Oh... You're being serious, about your love for your TC? Oh dear, this is awkward."

"I decided to be a supervillan and kill people with puns. My supervillan name? The punisher."

"I hate it when gross couples tell you they're trying for a baby and you have to picture them fucking for a second."

"Did Delilah ever tell that guy what New York City is like"

"The Grammar Nazis burst in. ""We know you're harbouring Jews, Mrs Gies"" ""There ain't no Jews here!"" ""Double negative! Search the attic, boys"""

"Two muffins are baking in the oven One muffin looks at the other and says, ""It's getting pretty hot in here"". The other muffin replies, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN""!"

"Why did Walmart go out of business in Iraq? Because there are too many targets."

"I'm interested in this girl who only dates Catholic guys... ... I guess you could call me a pope-less romantic"