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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins are baking in the oven One muffin looks at the other and says, ""It's getting pretty hot in here"". The other muffin replies, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN""!"

"I'm not sure if I heard a bootleg firecracker... or a pound of dynamite."

"I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing. It has it's ups and downs."

"A woman walks into a brothel, slaps down a few hundred dollars, and exclaims, ""I want twelve inches, and I want them to hurt!"" So the doorman smacks her face with a ruler."

"What do you call a homosexual Hispanic peeping tom? Peeko-da-guyo."

"A jewish Santa enters an house and asks... ""OK kids, what do you want to buy ?"""

"What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing? Justin Bieber"

"There's nothing funnier than a grown man aggressively dancing at somebody."

"Catch 22: Husband said if I quit Twitter he would pay for a boob job. But if I had huge jugs I would get tons of new followers. Sigh."

"When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t."