201009

Joke of the Day

"A slice of pizza walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says ""I'm sorry, we don't serve food."""

"My wife and her twin were standing next to each other in the kitchen Well, long story short, I grabbed the wrong butt and my brother in law was not amused"

"2 chickens walk into a chickenfarm The one chicken says to the other: ""tock, tock, tock, tock, tock."" The other one respones: ""Are you tocking to me?"""

"""conference"" comes from the Latin ""con"" meaning ""together with"" and ""ference"" meaning ""the worst people on earth"""

"Mrs. Bigger liked telling everyone her newborn baby boy was a lot bigger than she was... But he was really just a little Bigger."

"""Cash or Debit?"" ""Did you just assume my tender?!"""

"Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies? Because this docent makes any cents."

"Q: How can you tell when you've passed an elephant? A: Your eyes are watering and you can't get the seat to go down."

"My work day has been like the movie Sound of Music. But with less singing. And more Nazis."

"[vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* ""Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere"