200800

Joke of the Day

"My sex life is such a disaster... My sex life is such a disaster that last night the Red Cross showed up with coffee and doughnuts."

"@NBCSports thank you for making the sports"

"People always give up on me when I show them these words. See if you can get the opposite of each word: Always Staying From Take Me Down"

"Why do people assume I know all about computers just because I'm from India? That makes so I angry I just want to 01010010101010101010101"

"Its pretty annoying how women complain about having 1 baby in their stomach I have like a million in my ballsack and im not complaining."

"Fastening a pendant around my son's neck before dying for him, ""Keep this always. The audience won't recognize you as an adult without it"""

"A lady centipede crosses her legs..... .....""For the one hundredth time, NO!"""

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's finger."

"What did the RAM stick say to the politician? I'm PC2!"

"How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)"