200691

Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the parasite listen to the clock? A: Because it liked the tick talk."

"Girl: ""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"" Guy: ""Both, now get in the van."""

"i bet when Kid Rock invented rap, people were like ""No! This is nonsense!"" but he (in typical Kid fashion) was like ""F*ck you're rules! """

"Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The Common Cold? Because he is a bad influenza"

"How many male chauvinist does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the wife can cook fine in the dark"

"Why can Warren Buffet pull great stock tips out of his ass? He has a tickertapeworm!"

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day"

"What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster? Cook-a-doodle-do!"

"Why is it so hard to find good posts on NSFW subreddits? Because every post is a sticky post."

"Why do Lannisters hate turtles? Cause they can't stab them in the back"