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Joke of the Day

"If only politicians kept their campaign promises... like Harrelson keeps his rampart."

"What's it like to go down on an ewok? It's alright, they're just a little chewy."

"What did 50 Cent say when Dr. Dre gave him a sweater? ""Gee, you knit?"""

"Where does a sad chemist find employment? At an apathycary!"

"So you are distantly related to the family next door are you? Yes- their dog is our dog's brother."

"iPhone 6: For people who don't mind holding an iPad up to their ear."

"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"A woman is pulled over for speeding Cop: May I ask you why were you speeding? Woman: That is not possible, I think that Russians hacked your speedometer"

"Why did the Italian get thrown out of the hotel? He said ""I wanna two sheet onna the bed""."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly your dick down a whore's throat."