200565

Joke of the Day

"What fish is the most valuable? A goldfish."

"What's the best way for an American to lose weight? Gamble in British currency."

"want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"

"Autocorrect is like my girlfriend. It always changes what I said to something I didn't mean."

"I'm far less concerned with who let it out, and more curious as to why the cat was in the bag in the first place?"

"My ex wife is going through pms, I know this because my car is on fire."

"not one character on the show Friends had a job that was a joke, was broke, or had a love life that was DOA."

"Whats the last thing you want to hear before you go to sleep? Zippity Bop, Puddin' pop!"

"Band:Make some noise! Crowd:WOOO! Me:THATS SO VAGUE! WHAT KIND OF NOISE?! B:I cant hear u! C:WOOO! M:B/C UR PLAN WAS FLAWED FROM THE START!"

"You wanna take this outside bro? You sure bro? It's awfully chilly bro. Hold on bro, let me grab my scarf."