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Joke of the Day
"He said I was average - but he was just being mean."
Next Joke
"My sole task as an elevator boy is pushing buttons. It's just depressing."
"She was upset when I gave her 4 quarters rather than dollar... It has the same value. It doesn't make any cents."
"What did the Elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe out of that little thing?"
"My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously. So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter."
"How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building? About 16 seconds"
"A1 Use this punchline to create a weird, funny tone... ""Listen, we need to sit down and have a long, hard, and possibly phallic conversation."""
"Lindt chocolate... .....is to die for."
"People are always mistaking things I say as racist. The other day, this guy thought I called him a 'sand nigger.' But what I said was, 'get out of the sand, nigger. Volleyball is a white man's sport.'"
"*opens briefcase and presentation about 9/11 conspiracies falls out* But that means [cut to my son giving presentation about cool dinosaurs]"