200313

Joke of the Day

"""What an awesome body-"" Oh... thanks. I work out- ""- of research."" - formulas. I work out formulas. *sips tea* I do a lot of math."

"Recipes sound good until you realize that you don't have $846 worth of spices in your house."

"My life would be so much easier if it wasn't for that thing...God, what is that thing called...other people."

"Who were the Tallest Man in the World's roll models? Nobody, he had no one to look up to."

"I heard that there was no plane be shot down in Constantinople Because there was no Turkey"

"What is small, crying and cannot get under the table? A child with pitchfork in his back"

"I'm a giver. *gives you a hard time*"

"If you are American when you go into the bathroom and American when you leave, what are you when are using the bathroom? European"

"what idiot called it becoming a zombie and not waking up on the wrong side of the dead"

"whenever I think of the happy birthday song I imagine someone softly crying and singing it under their breath, blowing out a candle alone"