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Joke of the Day

"I tried to play counter strike the other day It felt like a France simulator, I kept getting shot by terrorists"

"Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: Know why I pulled u over C: Stop that M: Stop that C: Wanna go to jail? M: Wanna go to jail? C: No.. errr"

"Fish with no eyes What do you call a fish with no eyes? -A ""FSH"""

"I painted my laptop black so it would run faster... ...but now it doesn't work."

"There is a fine line between ""important to me"" and ""dead to me."" Don't walk it."

"Barrack Obama won the Olympic Gold Medal Usain Bolt was running for President"

"Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation? He didn't want any beef."

"ALL THE GAYS ON AN ISLAND My brother hates gay people -- hates us. 'We should take all you gays and stick you on an island.' 'Well they have, Frank. We call it Manhattan.'"

"OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!!! 1): Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2): Die"

"Why do they make condoms with ribs? So you can get traction in the mud."