199827

Joke of the Day

"You're so ugly....even the tide wouldn't take you out"

"My roommate said I might be schizophrenic. But what does he know I don't even have a roommate."

"Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit."

"Why was 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 had some PCP and was going ape shit!"

"I just find that blunt pencils are so... ... pointless I'll find my own way out"

"What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates? There is no sound... The P is silent."

"Why won't Microsoft hire any maids? Because they don't do Windows"

"Why don't Jews go to Jupiter? Because it's a gas planet"

"My car has started clicking at me. I think it's trying to tell me something, but the jokes on him, I don't speak a single African language."

"What does a donkey say? It says ""Hey Shrek, whats up?"" (I was 9 when i made this okay)"