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Joke of the Day

"I've always wanted to walk into a large room and be the most beautiful woman in there. But I'm scared of Walmarts :("

"If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call."

"A blind man walks into an i store ""2 please"""

"My family was so poor we couldn't afford toys... So my mom would cut holes in our pockets so we'd have something to play with."

"Why does the mushroom have a lot of friends? He's a fungi"

"Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. (my wife tells this joke to everyone and no one but me has ever laughed)"

"What do you call a hacker who can see the future? A 4chan teller."

"Is it too soon for Michael Brown jokes? Thought I would give it a shot."

"Just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I'd rather be tweeting."" It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch."

"My 8yo is watching a video of a guy watching a video of another guy flipping water bottles. Please pray for me during this difficult time."