199523

Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags. People who love picking up dog shit with their bare hands rejoice."

"I've been really mad at my dad since he died... ...all he's done for the last 6 years is sit on his ash."

"2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba dum tss EDIT: spelling"

"What do you call Star Wars Spoilers? *Wookie*Leaks."

"A squirrel charged with murder, the detective ""did you do it?"", the squirrel ... ""no it was Nut me"""

"*Asks soulmate* What is your dream car and why? Minivan, because the sliding door <joining in> MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS"

"What time of day are you not able to find your watch? 4:04"

"I don't see what's wrong with gay marriage It eliminates the worst part of a relationship"

"When my kids get older I'm going to discourage them from drinking.This way if I need a liver I can just harvest one of theirs."

"mythical anciemt turtel that canot die has been found in the galapagos. ""dont worry"" says one scientist ""we wil find a way to kill it"""