199523

Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags. People who love picking up dog shit with their bare hands rejoice."

"Japan's Woman Soccer Team"

"You might not be a Bulls fan, but I know you felt it when this D rose."

"My friend asked me if the new Star Wars movie was in 3D I said yes, but they R2D2"

"What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!"

"Listen up, single people. You can only sleep with so many people. Sooooo many people. So so so many."

"Apparently O.J. Simpson is getting remarried He decided to take another stab at it"

"You know you're getting fat when.. The clothes section you shop in has chairs spread out incase you get winded."

"I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door. ""Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"""

"Who him? Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS."