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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings? Legolas"

"Scientists created the first white laser. They were fired for racism and hate speech."

"What type of milk is swiss cheese made of? Whole milk."

"You tell one kid there's candy inside an electrical outlet that can only be retrieved with a fork and you're never asked to babysit again"

"I remember my first time at a mic. ""Cleanup on aisle 5"" & ""Price check-Advil"" were two early bits that really seemed to resonate with folks."

"Joke from my jazz history class: You are stuck on an island with Hitler, Stalin, and Kenny G. You have a gun, but you only have two bullets. What do you do? You shoot Kenny G. Twice."

"I believe Donald Trump can make this country what it once was- -an arctic region with zero population"

"I'm going to start a charity for the clinically insane. Gonna call it ""Fundamental"""

"I had to turn off my carbon monoxide detector... ...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."

"How did the townspeople react when the mayor presented them with a cost efficient, vegan protein source? They chia'd."