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Joke of the Day

"I think Lance Armstrong is missing a huge opportunity by not endorsing Uni-ball pens."

"I'm sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding."

"I'm pretty sure God and Satan are both women, because who else would hold a grudge for that long?"

"Kid: Mommy's last name must be ""Honey"" cuz that's what daddy calls her Teacher: That's SWEET. What's her first name? Kid: ""Sorry,"" I think"

"What bees makes the best milk ? Boob-bees And also this is my first time using Reddit and my account is only 30 minutes old by the time of this post so I have no idea what I am doing"

"I don't trust people with graph paper They're always plotting something"

"You know how they say ""Good guys finish last""? Maybe thats why my mistress has never had an orgasm..."

"What do you call a chicken without feathers? Dinner!"

"My girlfriend walked in on me again while I was eating cake frosting she'd hidden in the fridge. I hate getting caught masticating."

"Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked."