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Joke of the Day

"Every time I see a skidmark in my underwear... I'm confronted with the fact that I shit my pants JUST A LITTLE BIT every day."

"Batman should teach girls about periods in school... ""Tell me, do you bleed?... You will."""

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth."

"I masturbated when the clock struck 12 tonight It was the stroke of midnight"

"If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor."

"What do you call a plane with a muslim on it? Death row"

"Whats the difference between a black man and a dining room table? A dining room table can stay and support a family of four."

"What is the best way to lose money? A: Lend it to Greece."

"My buddy's daughter just told me this joke. I am a grown woman damn it, but I cannot stop laughing. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? | | | | | An irrelephant."

"From Neil Gaiman's ""Sandman"" A woman is crying on the street: ""HELP! I've been reaped!"" ""You mean raped?"" asked a man. ""No! he used a scythe!"""