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Joke of the Day

"My car doubles in value when I fill my gas tank up."

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun? A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times."

"AT&T; always treats me like I have no shirt and no shoes."

"A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."

"Black kids play NBA 2K... and then go to the basketball court to be like their favorite player. White kids play Call of Duty, then go to school to get the highest kill streak possible."

"Clitoris A boy asks his dad: ""Daddy, what is a clitoris?"" Dad replies: ""You should have asked me last night, it was on the tip of my tongue."""

"Had sex for the first time yesterday. It was a load off my chest. And a load onto hers."

"What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath? One is rude and nosey. The other is nude and rosey!"

"Give a man a match and he's warm for a day.... Set fire to a man and he's warm for the rest of his life."

"Did you hear about the man who hit my ex? He gold arrested for animal abuse"