198859

Joke of the Day

"Know-it-alls think themselves a fountain of knowledge. In truth they are an oil spill of knowledge... Unwelcome and hard to get rid of."

"What's bloody and painful and happens once a month? Flossing"

"What's the difference between sand and period blood? I can't gargle with sand."

"A homeless man randomly asked me if I was from Minnesota yesterday, so I replied, ""no, but once I stabbed a guy who grew up in Minneapolis"""

"How much energy does it take to create a rap star? 1.21 Jigga whats."

"My pants are also my iPhone grease wipes."

"Go see American Sniper. Or go to your buddy's house and watch him play Call of Duty for two hours"

"Why are antivax parents so afraid of their kids getting autism? Because they know, first hand, how hard life is when you're a fucking retard."

"i can guess how someone will die based on their clothes date: what about me? Hawaiian themed bathroom fire"

"Who wears robes, cuts off people's hands, and lives in the desert? Obi-Wan Kenobi."