198859

Joke of the Day

"Know-it-alls think themselves a fountain of knowledge. In truth they are an oil spill of knowledge... Unwelcome and hard to get rid of."

"My waxer just cancelled. So I'm making the best of a bad situation and riding around on top of minivans, Teen Wolf style."

"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on a chin? A dick in your mouth"

"""I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? 'cause I smell carrots..."" ~ Snowmen."

"When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, ""No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."""

"Eat for free at any restaurant by disguising yourself as a trash can."

"If you were arrested for masturbating on a plane... ....they would have to charge you with hi-jacking"

"Hooked up with a Medium at a bar last night I think phony was a fake because she didn't see me coming."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where ever you left him!"

"Dont be afraid to stand for what you believe in, even if that means standing alone."