198857

Joke of the Day

"What idiot named it balding & not vanishing into thin hair"

"Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit!"

"Why did the feminist refuse a back rub? Too massagynistic"

"Friend: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you? Me: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother."

"A teacher, in an attempt to get more enthusiasm from her students, asked them to write a summary of a baseball game. Within minutes, the first one was handed in. It read, ""Rain. No game today."""

"thought being on acid at ikea would be scary but it was fine and i told people who walked the wrong way ""there are arrows here to guide you"""

"I asked a beautiful homeless girl if I could taker her home with me. She said, ""Yes!"" With a big smile... But that quickly changed when I walked away with the cardboard box that she lived in."

"Date - ""so...are you going to be doing that for the whole date?"" [i can't hear her over my tuba]"

"what picture is guaranteed to make the front page of Reddit? Bernie Sanders sitting on a mildly interesting toilet while playing fallout 4"

"I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?"