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Joke of the Day
"Brigadier Popcorn was recently demoted. He is a colonel now."
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"Always helpful... Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot."
"Coworkers What's the difference between a brown nose and a shit head? Depth perception."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"Cutbacks on HealthCare are really starting to show. I went for my prostate exam today, and instead of lube the doc spat on my asshole"
"The only part I hate about not wearing pants is having to wipe snot on my bare legs."
"Why were you late ? Sorry teacher I overslept. You mean you need to sleep at home too !"
"What do you call a turkey with Parkinson's Disease? Turkey Jerky"
"Gun loading announcement... Apparently my local radio station had an announcement on how to load a gun. But I never got the bulletin."
"I was in a cab today and the cab driver said... ""I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."" Then I said, ""Turn left."""