198477

Joke of the Day

"I was in the midst of telling dad jokes when.. he had a heart attack and died."

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"Who fills in for the president of Russia when he's on leave? Deputin"
"saw your mum at the supermarket buying vaseline & cucumbers & nothing else, no wonder your dad died if that what she puts in sandwiches"
"6: Mommy where are you putting your cameltoe this year? Me: 6: I like it Me: It's mistletoe son"
"Butter Sometimes when I am baking I mix I can't believe it's not butter and butter, so that way I have I kinda believe that some of this might be butter."
"Sorry Im late, I saw that Spongebob episode where he's a lifeguard but cant swim, even though they live underwater & now my brain is leaking"
"Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves."
"No Deja vu please...I Don't want to go through that again"
"I went to a seafood disco last week I ended up pulling a mussel."
"They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good - they just couldn't get a decent wi-fi signal."