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Joke of the Day

"What does Axl Rose do before he prays? Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES!? KNEES!"

"I hate every child in a commercial."

"DOG 911: What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it? DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME??"

"On average, how many books can you put in an empty backpack? One. After that it's no longer empty"

"Teach a man to shake and he will be able to greet everyone. Give a man a shake and all the boys will come to his yard"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog Your just playing too much croquet!"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter he ain't commin"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care now and I probably won't care later."

"Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework"

"My one and only joke. Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says ""Ahhh are you ok?"" And the one that fell is like ""Yeah, olive."""