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Joke of the Day
"""Ooh fun, I have an email!"" - me, forgetting about the email I sent myself NOT ONE SECOND AGO"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?"
"In a very touching gesture, Gary Anderson attempted to call up Blair Walsh and offer his sympathy. Unfortunately, they just missed each other."
"I'm sorry I whispered ""a weem a way"" over and over during your jungle safari slide show..."
"I told an Aussie friend I was having trouble rooting my phone He replied, ""Maybe try buying it dinner first, mate. """
"Saw Interstellar over the weekend & was totally glued to my seat. The movie was OK but the getting-glued-to-my-seat thing ruined it for me."
"Why Donald Trump might win the election but resign on the first day? He finds out he has to move in to a small house in a black neighborhood!"
"Guys, if you are ever watching Indecent Proposal' and your wife or girlfriend asks: ""Would you let someone sleep with me for $1,000,000?"" Just lie!!"
"I'm ""whenever my mother calls, I think it's because someone's dead"" years old."
"*prepares to cook vegetarian chili* *spills the beans* Whoa, I suppose you could call that.. *lowers shades with a spatula*.. Kidney failure"