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Joke of the Day

"My favorite way to respond to a knock-knock joke Person: ""Knock Knock"" Me: ""Come in"" Person: ""..."""

"I stab myself a little bit every day to slowly build up an immunity to being stabbed to death."

"i showed an african kid ""the human centipede film"".... he wasn't hungry anymore"

"What does DNA Helicase and a 16 year old boy have in common? the both want to unzip your genes. if you didnt get it: https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121209104938AAKihOC"

"You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets."

"Me: So excited for the weekend! Predatory alien in disguise: Same here! Sooo easy to catch, right M: Huh P: The weakened M: What P: What"

"I taught my 4yo how to spell 'beer' so he'll stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge."

"She said, ""Are you even listening to me? This is important!"" I said, ""I don't know, pizza?"" And that's how the fight started"

"Why does Stevie Wonder smile? Because he's better than you."

"Why did the Pepsi executive get fired? He tested positive for Coke."