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Joke of the Day

"Why do people ask ""what the hell were you thinking""? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it"

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"I never feel more racist than when trying to find my waiter at a Mexican restaurant."
"Young people don't relate to George Foreman. That's why, today, I'm introducing the Skrillex Grillex."
"What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dictator. EDIT: In regards to BattletardBlacknigga, I also heard this joke from my dad. Which was awkward but made it funnier in a weird way....."
"Just hired a cat sitter to sit on my cat."
"Movie idea: A drunk passes out next to Picasso. He wakes up to find a drawing of a dick on his face worth $1 million. Does he wash it off?"
"Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant? They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, ""That'll be $5"". I should be able to say, ""That'll be a sandwich."""
"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""Kelly Clarkson boo"" ""Kelly Clarkson boo who?"" ""Stop crying, Kelly Clarkson."""
"When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me...I don't know man. I think you're gonna have a bad time"
"What is similar between Sharks and Humans? The Great ones are always white."
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