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Joke of the Day

"Why do people ask ""what the hell were you thinking""? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it"

"Dear Sir, I am writing this with a heavy heart. Sorry it's so hard to read I should really find a pen"

"I sing in the shower. I think I sound pretty good. The other people in the gym don't agree."

"When people say ""You can fit a million earths in the sun!!!"" I'm like: Hey. Maybe we shouldnt put any earths in the sun. The sun is hot."

"What's a sick persons favourite rhythm game? Catarrh Hero"

"What has eyes but can't see? Hellen Keller"

"Hans Zimmer was inspired by one composer in particular when writing the Inception soundtrack... Brahms"

"My DNA is all over this room. So nobody go doing anything all life-sentency in here, ok?"

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who past his uncle in the jungle?"