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Joke of the Day

"My son said he was touched by the priest at todays religious service I was there too, it was a beautiful ceremony"

"Why did the piglets do badly in school? They were all slow loiners."

"Glee' creator says he's gotten death threats over show's politics... ...Gee, it must be terrifying to get death threats from gay 15-yr-olds!"

"Someone came to my door today asking for donations to the local swimming pool So I gave them a glass of water"

"Did you here about the female thief? I heard she was a mistake"

"Held the door open for a japenese women today she said ""sank you"" I replied ""we blew you up"" She hit me with her walking stick... Apparently she meant thank you Edit: grammar mistake"

"I cant get on Tumblr anymore... My doctor told me to cut down on Trans-Fats"

"What has four hairy legs and fucks my sister? Me and my dad."

"A group of programmers painstakingly made a small underground passage, that somehow got smaller if it was used too often. They called it the Carpal Tunnel"

"The day you introduce your mom to Chuck Norris, is the day you mom introduces you to your biological father."