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Joke of the Day

"Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here."

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"Imagine me sitting alone, pouting in a wedding dress with a defeated slump and unwrapping and eating a Snickers bar. That's my fetish."
"My doctor says i have that ""Hannah Montana"" illness He said it was a Miley Virus"
"America Found Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did."
"A man walks into the bar But fails since he was too busy drinking through law school"
"I'm gaining weight for my role as ""'Before' picture"""
"DUDE: first of all ME: oh shit this dude's about to make more than one point"
"A man walks up to a taxi -How much would it cost to drive me to the center? -5 bucks -What if my wife comes as well? -Still 5 bucks. -Do you see now honey. You ARE worthless."
"If Satan lost his hair... ...there would be hell toupe."
"What did the mermaid wear to her math class? An algae bra."
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