197916

Joke of the Day

"just a racist joke do you know why **race of your choice** are so good at triathlon? because they run to get to the public swimming-pool and return home on a bicycle"

"My wife worships me She puts burnt offerings in front of me everyday"

"I taught my maths class how to use a protractor, with varying degrees of success."

"I had an artist put a tattoo of an asshole put over my asshole. That way I can say, ""Are you referring to me or my tattoo?"""

"What noise does a Russian Sheep make? It Blyats."

"Just put my phone on airline mode. That's when it delays your texts for no reason & acts like it's doing you a favor when it does send them."

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office is in big trouble. You have my Word."

"Why were the pirates on the ship fighting? They needed better anchor management."

"What do you call a hooker laying down? Whorizontal. Thanks, I'll show myself out."

"I once had a job circus sizing elephants. The pay was lowsy, but the tips were huge!"